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  • Writer's pictureEmil Tiedemann

Confessions of a Sodaholic

Updated: Aug 23, 2021

Hello, my name's Emil and I am an addict.

Okay, perhaps that sounds a bit melodramatic, but it's technically the truth. The kicker here is that I am not talking about hard drugs or gambling or sex or even shopping. Nope, I am but a recovering soda addict...Coke, to be specific.

It's rather embarrassing to admit such a vice, but at the same time there's some solace it my cola confession. It feels good to get that off my shoulders once and for all, although I'd prefer it come off my midsection if we're being honest. And at least I am not professing to some more heinous habit like snorting cocaine or jerking off to animal porn. For the record, I don't engage in either of those things nor do I condone them, but to each his own, I guess.

However, soda (namely Coke) isn't exactly innocent or virtuous here. Actually, it's kind of like the mythological Greek siren of the beverage industry, tempting us with its seductive fizz and a taste that just won't quit, only to plague us with the afflictions so prevalent in Western society these days. Although the enticing ads on TV and online bury the realities of the sugary soft drinks, it contributes to everything from obesity and diabetes to heart disease and maybe even cancer! Come to think of it, those other aforementioned addictions aren't sounding all that bad now.

These are just some of the many reasons why I wanted to kick this habit of mine. I knew it had become a problem for me when I would come home from work with a large size Coke slurpee from 7-11 every fucking day, and then down another cup or two from the habitual 2L bottle in my fridge before bedtime. When I ordered food or "food" from some place at lunch or dinner, there would always be a can or individual-sized plastic bottle of (usually) Coke that I so thoughtfully paired with every meal. And when I went out for drinks with friends, I mixed my whiskeys and rums with whatever brown sugary pop they had on tap. On average, I would not be surprised if I downed upwards of 1.5L of Coke each and every day.

That's why I designated March for my "30 Day No Soda Challenge," as my way of kicking the habit of consuming Coke on a daily basis. You might ask, "why not just quit drinking it, why do you have to do a 30-day challenge?" Good question! As it turns out, I have a competitive nature and challenging myself seemed like the optimal way of assuring success, for at least this trial period, and that would - in theory - allow me to become more self-disciplined and prudent when it came to what I chose to drink after those 30 days were up.

The fact that the challenge was for just 30 days allowed my psyche to take a chill pill rather than freaking out about going without Coke for the rest of the year or longer. 30 days is doable, even for an addict like me...any longer and it may have sealed my fate for failure.

Well, the 30 days is up, and I'm ecstatic to confirm that I actually made it through the entire challenge without so much as a sip of soda! It wasn't as tough as I assumed it would be, with the exception of a few occasions, like going to the movies. In lieu of Coke, I guzzled down plenty of water and coffee, and a meager amount of iced tea along the way (yes, I know that iced tea is bad for you too, but it's NOT SODA, so back off!); and the few times I had an alcoholic drink, it was on the rocks. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I somehow didn't lose a single pound!

Not long after the 30 days were up, I did indulge in the fizzy bliss of that brown liquid sugar once again, but it was not like before. I limited myself, and it was no longer a daily habit. In fact, I fully intend on restricting Coke even further, perhaps to once a month or so, until I never have the urge to taste its wondrous rapture ever again.



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